Why Coaching?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as, partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
In this blog, I’m going to review three reasons to consider coaching.
The benefits of coaching
My own personal experience with coaching (yes, I have a coach)
The difference between coaching and other modalities of external support.
One way to think about coaching is to consider the difference between a personal physician and a personal trainer. Fundamentally, the physician’s role is to diagnose and treat us when we are sick or injured. The personal trainer’s role is to help us get stronger. To optimize our performance in a specific area. This is comparable to the role of a coach. A coach is there to help you optimize a specific area, (or areas) of your life.
Unlike therapy, whose goal is to move a client from “dysfunction” to “functioning”, the goal of coaching is to support a client in their movement from “functioning” to “highly-functioning”.
“That sounds so different when I hear myself say it out loud.”
A good coach will create a safe space for you to says things out loud that you cannot say in any other space. Thoughts you are unable to share with anyone else. It is imperative to hold space for you to verbalize those thoughts that exist in our mind but changes when we hear it said out loud.
“So, this is what I heard you say?”
A good coach is like a mirror. Reflecting things back in ways that give the client a different perspective. Like putting on a different tint of sunglasses, the coach will encourage the client to consider different perspectives. Sometimes that reframe can be incredibly valuable.
I had a client who struggled with the thought they had a “glass-half-empty” outlook on life that often robbed them of good experiences. After several months of working together, mid-session, my client said, “you know, my initial reaction is always positive, then the negative thoughts start”. My response, “so, you’re not actually a negative person?”. “No, I guess not,” they said. This was a key insight for this individual to begin to look at the source of those negative thoughts.
Coaches for a Coach
In my own personal experience, I have worked with a professional coach as I transitioned to life in Colorado. I worked with a professional coach as I started a new professional role in an industry in which I was unfamiliar. I’m currently working with a coach as I make changes to my coaching practice (including this website).
In every instance, my coaches have been amazing at holding space for me and allowing me to verbalize thoughts. They rarely give advice but ask very insightful questions. Many times, their skill at asking questions allowed me to find the answers on my own.
“Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning”
-Rumi
Coaching Comparisons
In consideration if coaching is right for you, I’ve taken the time to review some comparisons between coaching and other areas we may have previous experience with external support. This information can be found through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).
Coaching and Friends
We all know the value of a good friend. We believe our friends are always working and supporting our best interests. However, unlike friends, coaches are objective and non-judgmental. Friends will always have their own perspective and, often, are all too happy to give advice. Coaches are trained professionals who can be trusted to work on the most important aspects of a client’s life without giving personal advice. Coaching is a collaborative effort that is solely based on what the client wants and would like to do. Friends may not always recognize or be willing to point out various issues that need to be worked on. Coaches are trained to challenge their clients in supportive ways.
Coaching and Sports Coaching
Although professional coaching has its roots in sports and there are many similarities, professional coaching is not based on competition or focused on a win-or-lose scenario. Coaches focus on bringing out one’s best but not to beat someone else.
Coaching vs. Consulting
Consultants typically present themselves as experts in certain aspects of life. Consultants have an agenda and some possible answers and bring that agenda and those answers to their client. Coaches, have no agenda other than to help clients get what they want. Although coaches have specializations in some fields, their true expertise is in the coaching process. There may be times when a coach my offer new ideas, knowledge, or expertise, but a coach will stay with and partner with the client to help implement that plan they’ve developed together. Coaches not only help bring about effective change; they hold space and do whatever they can to help clients to what they say they will do.
Coaching vs. Mentoring
As a rule, Coaches do not use their personal experiences as a model of success for their clients. Although it can be helpful to work with someone who has “been there and done that” and can show you the ropes, the coaching approach believes the client is the expert in their own life. The role of the coach is to be the expert in the coaching process and help the client even without first-hand knowledge of what the client is experiencing.
Coaching vs. Therapy
The main distinction between coaching and psychotherapy are based on focus, purpose, and population. The focus of coaching is visioning, success, the present, solutions, and moving into the future. The focus of therapy is psychopathology (define), emotions, problems, and exploring the past to understand the present. The therapist usually helps the client heal by figuring out the “why”. With respect to purpose, the purpose of coaching is performance, improvement, learning, or development in some area of life. The coach helps the client move forward by focusing on “how”. Therapy often dives deep into deep-seated emotional issues to work on personal healing or trauma recovery. Therapists help clients fix problems, develop skills for managing emotions or past issues, overcome issues, and sometime manage mental illness. In other words, the focus of coaching to help someone move from functioning to high functioning. Whereas the focus of therapy is to help someone move from dysfunction or disorder to functioning.
Is Coaching for Me?
Now that you have a better understanding of professional coaching, you are better equipped to determine if hiring a coach will support your goals, whatever they may be.
As you consider coaching, I will offer three pieces of advice.
If the coach is offering a discovery session, remember, you are interviewing the coach as much as they are interviewing you. A good coach is looking to see if you are a good “fit”. You should be doing the same. Do you feel comfortable with this person? Are they listening more, or speaking more? Are they selling?
Don’t let price be an obstacle. I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “you get what you pay for”. This applies to coaching. You are worth the investment.
Be sure to think about what you hope to accomplish by leveraging a coach. Be able to clearly articulate your goals. The clearer your intention, the better the chance you’ll achieve it.